Billie Eilish has become a hugely popular artist in the last year. Known for her songs “Bad Guy,” “Lovely,” and “Ocean Eyes,” among others, the singer opened up about her mental health issues.
According to Eilish, she has battled anxiety, depression, and self-harm since the age of 13. Some of these mental health issues stemmed from body dysmorphia, a mental illness that involves an obsessive focus on a perceived body flaw. As a competitive dancer, her life was dedicated to practice and competitions.
A ruptured growth plate in her hip halted her dancing career and sprung her into depression.
“I think that’s when the depression started,” she said in a Rolling Stone interview. “It sent me down a hole. I went through a whole self-harming phase – we don’t have to go into it. But the gist of it was, I felt like I deserved to be in pain.”
At first, Eilish didn’t share her mental health struggles from her past. But, as she became more and more popular, she opened up and started to advocate for mental health awareness. Recently, she told people to embrace their awkwardness and to find therapy or help if needed.
Aside from her past mental health issues already discussed, Eilish also has Tourette’s Syndrome. This syndrome is a neurological disorder that can cause sufferers to engage in involuntary sounds or movements.
Luckily, Eilish received in an interview with Ellen that she no longer feels as depressed and she doesn’t self-harm anymore. But she remembers the years that she struggled through her depression and will often reach out to fans who she believes are self-harming.
“It breaks my heart,” she said to Rolling Stone. “I don’t have scars anymore because it was so long ago. But I’ve said to a couple of them [fans], ‘Just be nice to yourself.’ Because I know. I was there.”
Anxiety is still and ever-present issue with the singer, as it is with many in the industry. She said she struggled with misery and anxiety the first week of her first-ever tour. She admitted to having panic attacks and crying for nearly two hours each night. To help, she started to see her therapist again, and makes special time to ride horses, a hobby she enjoys that helps her keep her mental health in check during stressful times.