Dating While Asian: Tips to Dating with an Unfair Disadvantage

According to OKCupid’s more than 25 million users, Asian men are less favorable to men who are black, latino, or white. Fewer women message or reply to Asian men on sites like these, and other statistics for Asian men look bleak.

For instance, a Columbia University study showed that Asian men have to make nearly $250,000 more than a white man in order to impress a white woman enough to marry her. Latinos need only make $77,000 more than a white man, and black men only have to make about $150,000 more to woo a white woman.

A lot of people in the United States are still in a relationship or married to a person of their same race. While this has increase from 3 percent to 17 percent in about 50 years, it still isn’t much of the population.

No one is really sure why even the most attractive Asian men seem to be put on the back burner or even specifically told not to even inquire.

asian men dating

One Asian man thinks that he found the solution, and it’s all about who you know.

Stephen Liu was attending a fundraiser viewing of a friend when he was introduced to a woman by the name of Linda. He found that they really got to know each other and really liked one another.

But Stephen didn’t realize that his friend who invited him to the fundraiser was helping him out that evening by introducing him to Linda. He was effectively Stephen’s wingman. This was nice, but it turned out that Linda wasn’t wooed by Stephen’s beer belly. However, his friend continued to act as a wingman, telling Linda the specific things he liked about Stephen.

Linda and Stephen are now married with a child, all because of who Stephen knew.

Thankfully, Stephen found his match. The real issue with Asian men in today’s dating role is the stigma. There are some more personal stigmas to dating an Asian man, but one is that society believes that all Asian men are nerds who don’t have all that much to offer in a relationship.

So, for many Asian men, traditional dating apps isn’t enough to get the attention of a partner. Instead, there are a number of other things you can do to attract attention to yourself with the use of introductions.


One of the best things you can do as an Asian man is to have your non-Asian friends keep their eyes peeled for a partner for you. If they meet someone who they think will click with you, encourage them to introduce them to you.

In addition, make sure your wingman knows to hype you up every chance that they get. This will show the person you’ve met that you’re a really great guy! However, don’t let your wingman go crazy. They need to keep things realistic. They shouldn’t claim that you’re rich if you’re not, and they shouldn’t tell lies to your potential partner.


From the experience that Stephen had, he and his wife Linda founded an anti-dating app called M8. On the app, your friends can endorse and introduce you! Because this involves actual matchmakers (your friends) and allows them to share real information that paints you positively, you can bet matches will be more genuine.

There are other apps out there that allow you to connect with people who are looking to make friends. While your intent on these apps shouldn’t be to turn it into a dating thing, you can always start the foundations to a relationship in one of these apps.


A lot of Asian cultures believe that success is defined by your job or the money you’re making. This can make Asian men who did not meet that expectation feel like they aren’t good enough. This can make it hard for Asian men to be confident and do what it takes to put themselves out there in the dating world.

But, you have to give up that attitude to find someone who makes you happy. If you’re interested in someone who seemingly tears you down for “not being good enough,” it probably isn’t a good match. This is why friends introducing you can be the best way to meet someone. Everything is laid out on the table and very honest. Your potential suitor will know who you are and what you do!


If you’re interested in someone, you can always try to befriend them first in order to get to know them. This can allow you to really understand their wants and needs in a relationship. If things match up, try giving a date a try. You may be surprised at the outcome!


In particular, music from Asian artists is becoming more and more popular. KPOP in particular has really changed some perceptions associated with Asian males. A lot of Asian men may not have seen a good Asian male role model who they can look to for inspiration and guidance on functioning in a relationship.

If you’re an Asian male struggling to find your confidence, try looking to different Asian role models who put off the vibe and the personality that you wish to emulate. Doing this will help you connect to who you really want to be in a relationship and can help you find the perfect partner for you!


So, for Asian men looking to meet the partner of their dreams, it may be best to delete traditional dating apps and go for an app like M8. When possible, try to have a friend who isn’t another Asian man introduce you and hype you up to potential partners. You can also try to employ the use of the other tips to help you find the best partner for you!